Best Friends Forever
Have you ever had someone angry with you? Have you ever been confused regarding why someone else just seems to hate you? For me, it is easier to bear someone being angry with me when I know the reason, but it drives me crazy when someone is upset with me and I have no idea why. It is even worse when I have done nothing wrong. Perhaps you have been there yourself.
Perhaps you’re there now. (I addressed this in more detail on Persecuted)
In this post, I will be taking a closer look at 1 Samuel 20 and together we will witness the power of friendship and the blessings it can bring into a life.
The Problem
Then David fled from Naioth in Ramah, and went and said to Jonathan, “What have I done? What is my iniquity, and what is my sin before your father, that he seeks my life?”
1 Samuel 20:1 NKJV
This friendship is complicated. Imagine the father of your best friend wants to kill you. Or imagine that your father wants to kill your best friend! I tend to read the story and place myself in David’s shoes, but in this story, I want to switch it up and place myself in Jonathan’s shoes. This story is unique in that David is passive and remains in the background for most of the narrative. This story also demonstrates once again that David did not ascend to the throne through treachery or any underhanded or dishonest schemes.
Jonathan does not want to believe David. Jonathan can’t believe that his father, the king, would desire to kill David an innocent man. Also, King Saul always shared with his son Jonathan, his plans and Jonathan had not heard of his father’s plan to kill David.
So Jonathan said to him, “By no means! You shall not die! Indeed, my father will do nothing either great or small without first telling me. And why should my father hide this thing from me? It is not so!”
Then David took an oath again, and said, “Your father certainly knows that I have found favor in your eyes, and he has said, ‘Do not let Jonathan know this, lest he be grieved.’ But truly, as the Lord lives and as your soul lives, there is but a step between me and death.”
- 1 Samuel 20:2-3 NKJV
David points out to Jonathan that his father could be hiding his plans from him since he knows that he is David’s friend.
They need a plan.
The Plan
David devises a plan involving him being absent from the royal court for two days and misses a sacrificial meal associated with a new moon festival (Numbers 10:10). Jonathan’s part in all of this is to observe his father, the king, and how he would behave when he noticed David’s absence. David also adds that if he has done anything wrong that Jonathan should kill him himself instead of taking him to his father to kill him.
Therefore you shall deal kindly with your servant, for you have brought your servant into a covenant of the Lord with you. Nevertheless, if there is iniquity in me, kill me yourself, for why should you bring me to your father?”
-1 Samuel 20:8 NKJV
The Covenant
Oddly in the midst of the devising of the plans and figuring out the details Jonathan asks David to be kind no only to him but to his descendants as well.
And you shall not only show me the kindness of the Lord while I still live, that I may not die; but you shall not cut off your kindness from my house forever, no, not when the Lord has cut off every one of the enemies of David from the face of the earth.” So Jonathan made a covenant with the house of David, saying, “Let the Lord require it at the hand of David’s enemies.”
- 1 Samuel 20:14-16 NKJV
Jonathan understands and accepts that David will be king and that God will cut off all his enemies. It is also worth mentioning that in 1 Samuel 19:17 Saul identifies David as his enemy. This foreshadows David’s ultimate victory, but it also says a lot about Jonathan who loves David instead of resenting him for being successful, for being chosen by God, Jonathan is willing to accept God’s will trusting Him to know what is best.
Love your neighbor as yourself
There are those who like to suggest that Jonathan’s love for David and David’s love for Jonathan might be of a romantic nature. However, the language used does not imply this.
Now Jonathan again caused David to vow, because he loved him; for he loved him as he loved his own soul.
1 Samuel 20:17 NKJV
Jonathan and David simply following the moral and ceremonial laws as expressed in Leviticus 19.
“You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the children of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord.”
- Leviticus 19:18 NKJV
Imagine with me what the world would be like if we had more friends like Jonathan! We all want to be David and have a friend like Jonathan. But that is beyond our control, we can wish and search for a friend like that, and that’s about it. That’s why I would rather encourage you to be that friend. To be a Jonathan to someone else. Because that is under your control. You can behave like Jonathan, and that is one way that the world will have more people like that. We can be the one who loves the other as we love ourselves!
King Saul does want to kill David
Sadly, as the story progresses we discover that indeed Saul wishes to kill David. Saul is furious that David is absent from court and blames his son Jonathan.
Then Saul’s anger was aroused against Jonathan, and he said to him, “You son of a perverse, rebellious woman! Do I not know that you have chosen the son of Jesse to your own shame and to the shame of your mother’s nakedness? For as long as the son of Jesse lives on the earth, you shall not be established, nor your kingdom. Now therefore, send and bring him to me, for he shall surely die.”
- 1 Samuel 20:30-31 NKJV
Pay close attention to Saul’s words and how he distances himself from David and even his own son. Saul refers to David not by name but rather as the son of Jesse, and he refers to his son not as his son, but rather as the son of a perverse, rebellious woman. Saul tries to get Jonathan to change his position using three powerful motivators, shame, guilt, and greed.
Shame - Saul tells Jonathan that it is shameful to choose David over his own family, over his father, over his king!
Guilt - Saul accuses Jonathan of being guilty of bringing shame upon his mother’s nakedness. An odd argument since Saul had brought shame upon her by calling her a perverse, rebellious woman.
Greed - Saul reminds Jonathan that he will never be king as long as David is around. Jonathan would have wealth and power only when David was dead.
After attacking Jonathan with those harsh words Saul orders him to send and bring David for he must die.
Jonathan is not swayed by his father’s words. Rather he argues with his father questioning him regarding David and what he had done to deserve death. As king over God’s people, he should not break God’s law, and the law prohibited the execution of the innocent.
Keep yourself far from a false matter; do not kill the innocent and righteous. For I will not justify the wicked.
- Exodus 23:7 NKJV
Saul answer’s his son’s questions with a spear, and it was then that Jonathan knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that indeed his father was not very good with a spear (1 Samuel 18:11; 19:10; 20:33), and also that he truly desired to kill David. Jonathan leaves the table furious and fasts for the remainder of that day. However, Jonathan is not upset that his father just tried to kill him, but rather he is upset at how his father has treated David. Jonathan realizes that life will never be the same. Jonathan will have to part with his best friend, and also things will never the same between him and his father.
Be like Jonathan
Jonathan is one of the best examples we have in the Bible of a good friend. Jonathan could have allowed his pride and personal ambition to ruin his friendship with David. Jonathan could have been Jealous, like his father. Jonathan could have been greedy and wanted the kingdom to himself. He could even have argued that the kingdom belonged to him and not David. But Jonathan stood up for David, Jonathan confronted the king. Jonathan cared more about what was right than about personal wealth and power. Jonathan stood up for his friend when others wished to harm him. Jonathan supported his friend even though his friend would become more powerful than he was.
Can you be like Jonathan?
Are you willing to support a friend who is going to surpass you?
Will you stand up for what is right even if the king wants to do what is wrong?
The world needs more men and women who behave like Jonathan. Who are loyal friends, who love others like they love themselves, who stand up for their friends and want to see their friends succeed.
I want to encourage you, to be like Jonathan, because you will contribute, even if in a small way, to making the world a better place, and to reflecting kingdom ethics. Living life on earth according to the values God has made clear in the Bible.
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.””
