Family Drama
Welcome back to my series on the life of Joseph. In this post, I will be following the tips I laid out in my post Making the Bible come alive but I will also be going beyond and using other resources I have at my disposal.
In this post, I’ll be focusing on Genesis 43.
Context - The famine was severe
Now the famine was severe in the land. 2 And it came to pass, when they had eaten up the grain which they had brought from Egypt, that their father said to them, “Go back, buy us a little food.”
- Genesis 43:1-2 NKJV
I covered Genesis 42 in my post A Dream Come True, and it ended with Jacob stating that he would not allow Benjamin to go down to Egypt with his brothers.
38 But he said, “My son shall not go down with you, for his brother is dead, and he is left alone. If any calamity should befall him along the way in which you go, then you would bring down my gray hair with sorrow to the grave.”
- Genesis 42:38 NKJV
The story picks up in chapter 43 with the need to return to Egypt and purchase more food since the severe famine remains. I imagine the entire household noticing that their grain is beginning to run low but no one wants to talk about it. Everyone knows how Jacob feels about it, no one wants to bring up the topic of needing to go back to Egypt, but Jacob realizes that the trip is necessary and he broaches the topic.
Yeah, about that…
I imagine all the brothers looking at each other, wondering who will remind their father about what Joseph had said, and Judah decides to speak up.
3 But Judah spoke to him, saying, “The man solemnly warned us, saying, ‘You shall not see my face unless your brother is with you.’ 4 If you send our brother with us, we will go down and buy you food. 5 But if you will not send him, we will not go down; for the man said to us, ‘You shall not see my face unless your brother is with you.’ ”
- Genesis 43:3-5 NKJV
Judah addresses the elephant in the room. There is no point in going back to Egypt unless their youngest brother, Benjamin, is with them. Israel is distraught and laments his sons even mentioning their youngest brother to the Egyptian.
Israel
6 And Israel said, “Why did you deal so wrongfully with me as to tell the man whether you had still another brother?”
- Genesis 43:6 NKJV
Whenever I read Jacob referred to as Israel I am reminded of how his name was changed and what Israel means.
28 And He said, “Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel; for you have struggled with God and with men, and have prevailed.”
- Genesis 32:28 NKJV
Jacob did not simply become Israel one day as he was sitting comfortably at home. Jacob had spent a night wrestling with God (more details on that story here). When we face new challenges do we forget our previous challenges? Do we forget the faith lessons God has taught in the past? Personally, this happens too often. I know what God has done for me in my past but somehow I find ways to question His love.
Maybe I brought this on myself? - As if that limited God’s love and power and mercy (1 John 2:1)
Maybe my sin has separated me so far from God that He won’t answer my prayer this time around (Isaiah 59:2)? - God is able and willing to forgive me when I confess my sins 1 John 1:9.
Maybe I do not deserve His blessing? - We don’t deserve our blessings. God blesses us for His name’s sake. (Psalm 25:11; Psalm 31:3; Ezekiel 20:44)
I need to come to God just as I am, recognizing my great need for Him and especially remembering that I do not deserve the blessings that I seek.
Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
- Hebrews 4:16 NKJV
How could we have known?
It is really unfair to judge our past actions based on what we know now.
7 But they said, “The man asked us pointedly about ourselves and our family, saying, ‘Is your father still alive? Have you another brother?’ And we told him according to these words. Could we possibly have known that he would say, ‘Bring your brother down’?”
- Genesis 43:7 NKJV
Too often I beat myself up for past “mistakes” that were not really mistakes, they only feel that way because of what is happening today. Given what they knew at the time, Jacob’s sons had done nothing wrong.
A matter of life or death
8 Then Judah said to Israel his father, “Send the lad with me, and we will arise and go, that we may live and not die, both we and you and also our little ones. 9 I myself will be surety for him; from my hand you shall require him. If I do not bring him back to you and set him before you, then let me bear the blame forever. 10 For if we had not lingered, surely by now we would have returned this second time.”
- Genesis 43:8-10 NKJV
Judah speaks up again reminding his father this is a matter of life or death. This is not a game or a mere whim or desire, they must go to Egypt and buy grain or they will die, including their children. Judah takes full responsibility for the well-being of Benjamin and also points out that all this delay is not going to solve anything, they have to go so they can come back and bring food.
If it must be so…
11 And their father Israel said to them, “If it must be so, then do this: Take some of the best fruits of the land in your vessels and carry down a present for the man—a little balm and a little honey, spices and myrrh, pistachio nuts and almonds. 12 Take double money in your hand, and take back in your hand the money that was returned in the mouth of your sacks; perhaps it was an oversight. 13 Take your brother also, and arise, go back to the man.
- Genesis 43:11-13 NKJV
If you have to go, bring some gifts. After all Proverbs 18:16 says that “A man’s gift makes room for him,
And brings him before great men.” Using gifts to help smooth a difficult situation is a familiar approach that Jacob has used in the past (Genesis 32:13-20 detailed post here). Jacob sent gifts that consisted of commodities typically exported from Canaan (Ezekiel 27:17), recalling especially the products borne by the caravan of Ishmaelite merchants (Genesis 37:25). (K. A. Mathews, Genesis 11:27–50:26, vol. 1B, The New American Commentary (Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 2005), 788.) Jacob tells them to take double the money and finally agrees to allow them to take Benjamin with them to Egypt.
El Shaddai
14 And may God Almighty give you mercy before the man, that he may release your other brother and Benjamin. If I am bereaved, I am bereaved!”
- Genesis 43:14 NKJV
Jacob calls upon God almighty to give his sons mercy before “the man” that Benjamin and Siemon would be released and sent home. Little does Jacob know that “the man” is his son Joseph. Their sons are blessed to have a father who intercedes for them before God Almighty.
In Genesis El Shaddai (“God Almighty”) is usually found in the context of God’s revelation of covenant promises made to Abraham (Genesis 17:1), which was remembered by Isaac (Genesis 28:3) and reiterated to Jacob by God at Bethel (Genesis 35:11). Jacob appealed to the name in the setting of prayer and blessing (Genesis 43:14; 48:3). It was this revered name Shaddai that was chosen as the chief title for the God of the patriarchs at Sinai (Exodus 6:3). (K. A. Mathews, Genesis 11:27–50:26, vol. 1B, The New American Commentary (Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 2005), 64–65.)
Mercy
Matthews also points out that this is the first use of “mercy” in the Bible.
Appropriately, this first occasion of “mercy” in the Bible appears in an invocation to God. The word occurs only twice in Genesis (vv. 14, 30). Ironically, the answer to Jacob’s plea, in which refers to (undisclosed) Joseph as “the man,” is Benjamin’s brother. Joseph’s emotional eruption (“deeply moved,” also from raḥămîm) evidences the compassion for which Jacob prayed (v. 30).
- K. A. Mathews, Genesis 11:27–50:26, vol. 1B, The New American Commentary (Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 2005), 788.
The Hebrew root word for mercy is רַחַם (raḥam) in the singular it means womb and shows up 4 times in the Old Testament, one of them being Genesis 49:25. Most often (30 times) this word shows up in the Old Testament in the plural רַחֲמִים (raḥămîm) which means compassion. A possible origin of the term is “brotherhood, brotherly feeling, of those born from the same womb […] or motherly feeling” (Francis Brown, Samuel Rolles Driver, and Charles Augustus Briggs, Enhanced Brown-Driver-Briggs Hebrew and English Lexicon (Oxford: Clarendon Press, 1977), 933.) This word shows up 3 times in Genesis. 2 times in the plural meaning compassion (Genesis 43:14, 30), and once in the singular meaning womb (Genesis 49:25).
Good news?
15 So the men took that present and Benjamin, and they took double money in their hand, and arose and went down to Egypt; and they stood before Joseph. 16 When Joseph saw Benjamin with them, he said to the steward of his house, “Take these men to my home, and slaughter an animal and make ready; for these men will dine with me at noon.” 17 Then the man did as Joseph ordered, and the man brought the men into Joseph’s house.
- Genesis 43:15-17 NKJV
The sons of Israel took everything they would need for the trip and set off toward Egypt to buy the much-needed grain. Joseph saw that Benjamin was with them and decided to bless them with a special treatment, they would get to dine with him in his house at noon. But fear has a way of stealing the joy from moments that should be cherished and enjoyed. Here is a great family reunion, fantastic food, and a true blessing, yet fear and a guilty conscience steal the joy of the sons of Israel.
Fear is a thief
18 Now the men were afraid because they were brought into Joseph’s house; and they said, “It is because of the money, which was returned in our sacks the first time, that we are brought in, so that he may make a case against us and seize us, to take us as slaves with our donkeys.”
- Genesis 43:18 NKJV
Joseph’s brothers are so afraid they see this as a bad sign, a possible trap. They are anxious, nervous, afraid, and just waiting for something bad to happen. I have been there, unable to enjoy a pleasant experience because of fear or a guilty conscience. This makes me wonder, how many years have the brothers been suffering as a result of how they treated their brother. That is the thing with sin, it may seem so small, but we never fully know the extent of the suffering it will cause.
Do not be afraid
19 When they drew near to the steward of Joseph’s house, they talked with him at the door of the house, 20 and said, “O sir, we indeed came down the first time to buy food; 21 but it happened, when we came to the encampment, that we opened our sacks, and there, each man’s money was in the mouth of his sack, our money in full weight; so we have brought it back in our hand. 22 And we have brought down other money in our hands to buy food. We do not know who put our money in our sacks.”
23 But he said, “Peace be with you, do not be afraid. Your God and the God of your father has given you treasure in your sacks; I had your money.” Then he brought Simeon out to them.
- Genesis 43:19-23 NKJV
They eagerly approached the steward of Joseph’s house to explain about the money. He assures them with a statement that God has given them a treasure. This reminds me of God showing up to bless Jacob, but Jacob is so afraid he wrestles with God all night (Genesis 32 Wrestling with God). The sons of Israel are receiving blessings from God but their guilty conscience causes them to experience the blessings with fear and anxiety. Perhaps they relaxed a bit once Joseph’s steward spoke to them and brought them Simeon.
Hospitality
24 So the man brought the men into Joseph’s house and gave them water, and they washed their feet; and he gave their donkeys feed. 25 Then they made the present ready for Joseph’s coming at noon, for they heard that they would eat bread there.
- Genesis 43:24-25 NKJV
The brothers are treated well and prepare to have lunch with the Egyptian man. Perhaps they begin to relax a bit.
26 And when Joseph came home, they brought him the present which was in their hand into the house, and bowed down before him to the earth. 27 Then he asked them about their well-being, and said, “Is your father well, the old man of whom you spoke? Is he still alive?”
28 And they answered, “Your servant our father is in good health; he is still alive.” And they bowed their heads down and prostrated themselves.
- Genesis 43:26-28 NKJV
Joseph comes home at noon for the meal and his brothers bring him the gifts their father had sent. Joseph asks them about the well-being of their father and I wonder if they answered carefully, concerned about how their words might be used against them in the future. (Genesis 43:6) Again the brothers bow before Joseph, fulfilling the dream Joseph had as a young man (Genesis 37:5-8 Dysfunctional Family).
Benjamin, is that you?
29 Then he lifted his eyes and saw his brother Benjamin, his mother’s son, and said, “Is this your younger brother of whom you spoke to me?” And he said, “God be gracious to you, my son.” 30 Now his heart yearned for his brother; so Joseph made haste and sought somewhere to weep. And he went into his chamber and wept there. 31 Then he washed his face and came out; and he restrained himself, and said, “Serve the bread.”
- Genesis 43:29-31 NKJV
I recommend reading different translations for Genesis 43:30. You will notice that translators struggle with the use of רַחֲמָיו (rǎ·ḥǎmîm) the singular would mean womb, but Joseph is a man and the word shows up in the plural which would mean compassion, but it’s not like Benjamin is suffering and needs compassion so translations vary from deeply moved, to his heart was moved, he was overcome with emotion, to his bowels yearned for his brother. We can all agree that the sight of his brother, Benjamin had a profound impact on Joseph and he had to leave the room in order to weep. This is also the answer to the prayer Israel prayed to God Almighty back in Genesis 43:14 asking for “the man” who we know to be Joseph to be moved with mercy ( רַחֲמִים֙ rǎ·ḥǎmîmʹ).
“Deeply moved” (nikmĕrû raḥămayw, lit., “his compassion grew hot”) also describes the compassion of a mother for her son (1 Kgs 3:26) and of God for his people (Hos 11:8). The Joseph narrative often depicts Joseph weeping when restored to his family (45:14, 15, 28; 50:1, 17; cp. 29:11; 33:4).
- K. A. Mathews, Genesis 11:27–50:26, vol. 1B, The New American Commentary (Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 2005), 791.
Enjoy the meal!
32 So they set him a place by himself, and them by themselves, and the Egyptians who ate with him by themselves; because the Egyptians could not eat food with the Hebrews, for that is an abomination to the Egyptians. 33 And they sat before him, the firstborn according to his birthright and the youngest according to his youth; and the men looked in astonishment at one another. 34 Then he took servings to them from before him, but Benjamin’s serving was five times as much as any of theirs. So they drank and were merry with him.
- Genesis 43:32-34 NKJV
Apparently, there were lots of tables and seating arrangements were taken seriously.
The segregated seating of Joseph, the brothers, and the Egyptians reflected the low status of the Hebrews (v. 32). The author’s explanation for the distinction informs the Hebrew reader of a ritual taboo in Egypt, which is explained further in 46:34 (cf. Exod 8:26[22]). That Egyptians exhibited such discriminatory practices has some corroboration in Herodotus’s Histories (fifth century B.C.). Egyptians, according to Herodotus, would not eat or sacrifice cows, who were considered sacred, and for this reason they avoided cohabiting with Greeks (2.18, 41; cf. 2.42, 46).
- K. A. Mathews, Genesis 11:27–50:26, vol. 1B, The New American Commentary (Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 2005), 791.
Joseph gets a place by himself, likely a whole table. His brothers are set at a table just for them and Joseph had them sit by birth order. The Bible does not tell us the details of how Joseph pulled this off but his brothers were astonished. At this point, I imagine Joseph having fun messing with their heads. Also, I imagine Benjamin hidden behind a mountain of food. If he is being served 5 times more food than his brothers I can’t imagine him being able to finish his food. I don’t know about you but I would have felt so guilty not finishing my food when there’s a famine in the land.
Genesis 43 ends almost like a predictable TV show or movie, and it all ends in pizza, or a meal, or they lived happily ever after. Except there is more coming in Genesis 44. But that will be covered in another post.
Takeaway
Joseph’s brothers are experiencing an emotional rollercoaster, and it is not over yet. They do not realize that God Almighty has answered their father’s prayer and “the man” has experienced compassion. They do not know that they are saved. They do not know that Joseph is alive. They do not know that great joy awaits them. God is in control, even in the midst of the mess that they have made of their lives.
When we place ourselves in God’s hands seeking to do His will we must trust Him to lead and solve our problems. There are so many unknowns, so many variables that we can drive ourselves mad. We don’t want to be completely careless, but if we are seeking God’s will in our lives, why do we stress so much about all the factors that are beyond our control?
This story is not over. There are a few more twists and turns coming. However, God is in control. The best each person can do is to be honest and kind along the journey. Whenever I find myself feeling anxious or uneasy about life’s circumstances I try to calm myself by asking myself the following questions.
Have I surrendered this to God? If not, what keeps me from surrendering this to God right now?
Have I done my part? This part is tricky because I am not sure how much of the work falls to me. I prayerfully ask God to show me if there is something I can do that I have not done. This portion helps me when there is something I know I should do but I have been afraid or just too lazy to do it.
Ask God to give me peace over what is beyond my control and thank Him in advance for the results. I know that God will take care of it. God has an amazing track record. I have no doubts that He wants what’s best for me. I just need to be willing to accept His will for my life.
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.
- Jeremiah 29:11 NKJV
Your kingdom come.
Your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven.
- Matthew 6:10 NKJVHe went a little farther and fell on His face, and prayed, saying, “O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.”
- Matthew 26:39 NKJV
But those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.
- Isaiah 40:31 NKJV
Our soul waits for the Lord;
He is our help and our shield.
For our heart shall rejoice in Him,
Because we have trusted in His holy name.
Let Your mercy, O Lord, be upon us,
Just as we hope in You.
- Psalm 33:20-22 NKJV
