God’s Love Isn’t Always Comfortable – And That’s Good News
Personal Story
When my kids were younger, we went to visit a beach in Florida. We parked our car, grabbed the cooler, the shade, a picnic basket with snacks, and a bucket full of toys for the kids to play with on the sand. My wife and I had our hands full, and the kids walked ahead of us. As we made our way out of the parking lot, we walked along a boardwalk. The boardwalk was made of wood and had sides also made of wood. As our kids walked ahead of us, they ran their fingers along the wood.
As you may have anticipated, one of our kids got several splinters on their little hand. This was not my first time dealing with splinters; at this point, I even carried a set of tweezers specifically designed to remove them. (I still carry them around to this day.) So we stopped, I went to the car, and got the tweezers. My child cried and cried, but let me take out the first few splinters. But there were several, and the last one was pretty deep. My young child was not only crying but really yelling at this point. My wife and I took turns trying to get the splinter out while the other held the little hand in place.
Emotionally, I wavered between feeling sorry for my child’s pain and being upset at all the yelling.
Didn’t my child understand that this was for their benefit?
Did my child think my wife and I were enjoying this?
Did my child not realize that this was for their good and leaving the splinter in would be more painful and dangerous in the long run?
Did my child not realize that this temporary pain would lead to a more enjoyable life afterward?
What would you have done in my place? What would be the loving thing to do? Is it more loving to leave the splinters in because removing them would be painful? But going about the day with the splinters in place could push them deeper, and because organic material like wood is porous, it can quickly introduce bacteria, leading to infection, inflammation, and permanent skin bumps or granulomas.
But removing the splinter was painful, and our child was begging us to stop and just leave it alone. Would the loving thing for me as a father be to listen to my child and leave the splinter in? Or, because I know that leaving it in would be detrimental to my child’s health, would the loving thing to do be to disregard my child’s plea and continue the long and painful process of removing the splinter?
The loving thing to do is not always obvious.
God’s Love Isn’t Always Comfortable — And That’s Good News
But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
—Romans 5:8 NJV
Love is an incredibly challenging topic to discuss, and the love of God is especially challenging. The word “love” is used so often in so many ways that two people can be talking about the love of God and have vastly different ideas in their minds of what they mean by the words they use. So how can we possibly know what the love of God is all about?
I do not have the final answer, but my approach is to allow the biblical text to challenge and shape my personal understanding of what love is all about. In my previous post, we explored how God provided for our salvation through Jesus. The cross remains the greatest demonstration of love in the universe and the proper framework to interpret everything else we read in the Bible. If you are ever struggling to understand a part of the Bible, look at it from the perspective of the cross and what it reveals about God’s love for us.
One point that we must always keep in mind is that we do not have to work to be loved by God. While we were still sinners, Christ died for us! Love flows from God towards us. We don’t have to ask to be loved or to seek God’s love. We do not have to earn God’s love. God loves us and wants what’s best for us. Oftentimes, we equate God’s love for us with God doing everything we ask or giving us everything we want. But that is a simplistic and selfish view of love; we make it all about us.
What if I don’t feel loved?
One way God’s love makes us uncomfortable is that we don’t always feel loved, nor do we always understand God’s plans for our lives.
Keep in mind that God the Father said “no” to a prayer from Jesus, His only Son (Discussed further in my post Is Jesus The Only Way to Salvation?) So the loving thing is not for God to always answer all our prayers with a “yes.” God gave Abraham a son, but it took much longer than Abraham had expected (A Promise Fulfilled). God made Joseph second in command in Egypt, but for a long time, Joseph might have felt abandoned by God (audio of the study available at Thankful for Trials). God chose David to be king of Israel, but David did not become king right away, and his path to the throne was not easy (Of Kings and Men). When we read the Bible, we see evidence of God’s love everywhere, but we also see that the path is not always easy or predictable.
We know that God loves us. Not because we always feel loved. Not because we always fully understand what God is doing, but because the Bible tells us and the cross confirms that message beyond any shadow of doubt.
God Loves Our Enemies
Another way that God’s love makes us uncomfortable is that God also loves those we may consider enemies.
God’s love for our enemies can at times frustrate us. We love the idea of Christ dying for us while we were still sinners, but are we as excited about God’s love for those we dislike? I explore this in my post “Jesus and Zacchaeus: Hope for the Outcast, the Rich, and Everyone in Between.” Another story that comes to mind is Jonah's.
Jonah
But it displeased Jonah exceedingly, and he became angry. 2 So he prayed to the Lord, and said, “Ah, Lord, was not this what I said when I was still in my country? Therefore I fled previously to Tarshish; for I know that You are a gracious and merciful God, slow to anger and abundant in lovingkindness, One who relents from doing harm. 3 Therefore now, O Lord, please take my life from me, for it is better for me to die than to live!”
4 Then the Lord said, “Is it right for you to be angry?”
—Jonah 4:1-4 NKJV
You may be wondering why Jonah is so upset in chapter 4. The answer is found in the last verse of chapter 3.
Then God saw their works, that they turned from their evil way; and God relented from the disaster that He had said He would bring upon them, and He did not do it.
—Jonah 3:10 NKJV
Because God loved even the Ninevites, God sent Jonah to them with a message of judgment. But Jonah did not want to go. At first, it is not clear why he didn’t want to go. Maybe he was scared, maybe it was because of the distance, but in chapter 4, we find out it was because Jonah did not want God to spare the Ninevites.
Jonah was asking to die because God had mercy on the Ninevites. Think about this. God’s love and mercy made Jonah not want to live. Jonah was fine receiving God’s mercy and forgiveness (see Jonah chapter 2), but the idea of others receiving it bothered him. Maybe Jonah felt that because he was Jewish, he deserved God’s love and mercy. Perhaps Jonah believed that his role as a prophet of God entitled him to special privileges, and the idea of a people who did not worship God being the objects of His love and mercy angered him.
God loves us, and He also loves those we might deem undeserving of His love and mercy. We are not here to judge; we are here to love, to help, to bless, and to proclaim the good news of salvation in Jesus. But remember that to love is not to be an enabler, nor does it mean we become a doormat. As I mentioned earlier, the loving thing to do is not always the easy thing to do, but what is best for the person.
Conclusion
He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.
—1 John 4:8 NKJVFor I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
—Jeremiah 29:11 ESV
We know from the biblical text that God is love. So we come to God in prayer knowing that He cares. We face life, knowing that God loves us. This does not mean we always feel loved or always understand God’s plans, but we know that God wants what is best for us.
And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him.
—1 John 4:16 NKJVAnd we know that God works together all things for good to those loving God, to those being called according to His purpose,
—Romans 8:28 Berean Literal Bible
As we receive love from God, we share it with those around us. We abide in God’s love, we remain and live our lives in God’s love and loving others. Not only those we deem worthy of our love, but especially those who need it most. Understanding that the loving thing to do is not always obvious nor the easiest option, but the best possible option we know of.
