Strong Female Character
Do you like simple straightforward stories?
Stories with a clear hero who never does anything wrong and a clear villain who never does anything good?
I have met many people who are only familiar with the children’s version of the Bible characters. We often refer to these characters as Bible heroes. They are strong, wise, and always obedient. They talk to God and God talks to them and they always know exactly what to do. They are never afraid, they never experience anxiety, and God gives them victories over everything that stands in their way.
These heroes are often portrayed as strong and brave men.
Many are surprised to discover that the great majority of biblical characters are flawed human beings whose lives are much more similar to ours than we would like to admit. Many often overlook the women of the Bible. They see them as minor characters whose stories are not worth telling and whose names are not worthy to be remembered.
In this post, I will explore Genesis 38 and the story of Tamar. She is the first woman mentioned in the genealogy of Jesus, that portion of Matthew 1 you often skip. Just a heads up, this story is anything but straightforward and deals with mature themes. There’s a reason kids’ Bibles don’t include the story of Tamar. But if you are interested in tackling a challenging biblical text and discovering a fascinating character, I invite you to continue to read this post.
Wrong Story?
At first glance, a story about Judah and his daughter-in-law Tamar immediately after the sale of Joseph and his arrival in the Egyptian house of Potiphar seems completely out of place. But a closer look at this story reveals that it is exactly where it needs to be since it is thematically connected with Genesis 37 and 39.
Going down?
It happened at that time that Judah went down from his brothers and turned aside to a certain Adullamite, whose name was Hirah.
- Genesis 38:1 ESV (bold mine)
I quoted from the English Standard Version because it more accurately translates the original text. This may seem like a small detail but it ties this story in with the next chapter, Genesis 39 that begins with Joseph having been taken down to Egypt. The text does not tell us the reason for Judah leaving his brothers, but it could be that he is feeling guilty about selling his brother Joseph to the Midianites and Ishmaelites (Genesis 37:28 more on my post Betrayed by Family)
“At that time” correlates with the previous incident and suggests that the present episode should be interpreted in light of it. That Judah “went down” (from yārad) is a veiled allusion to the descent of Joseph into Egypt (37:25, 35; 39:1; cf. 12:10; 46:3–4), meaning that both sons have left their father’s house, though under vastly different circumstances. Ironically, Joseph’s case was instigated by Judah’s brainstorm. Judah in the Joseph narrative is an active participant whose choices, for good or for ill, make ripples in the lives of others.
- K. A. Mathews, Genesis 11:27–50:26, vol. 1B, The New American Commentary (Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 2005), 713–714.
When we combine the events of Genesis 37 and 38 we notice that Jacob’s family was being torn apart by hatred and overall disregard for the will of God.
Judah’s sons
2 And Judah saw there a daughter of a certain Canaanite whose name was Shua, and he married her and went in to her. 3 So she conceived and bore a son, and he called his name Er. 4 She conceived again and bore a son, and she called his name Onan. 5 And she conceived yet again and bore a son, and called his name Shelah. He was at Chezib when she bore him.
- Genesis 38:2-5 NKJV
Judah’s progeny looks promising since he had three sons. This places him in good company since other notable patriarchs who produced three sons include Noah, and Terah (Adam has three sons named in the Bible but I wonder if he had more that were not named). Judah named his first son, Er, but the other two were named by his wife. Perhaps this indicates the preference for the firstborn as was typical in the local culture. There is also some debate regarding the identity of Shua. Was Shua the name of the father or the daughter? The text is not clear and it has been translated both ways.
Judah chooses Tamar
Then Judah took a wife for Er his firstborn, and her name was Tamar.
- Genesis 38:6 NKJV
Interestingly Judah decides to choose the wife for his firstborn. Some interpret this to mean that Judah is becoming more concerned about his legacy and is perhaps returning to God. However, the biblical text does not identify Tamar’s background. Jewish Tradition reports that Tamar was originally a Gentile but, like Ruth, had converted to the God of Israel. (Doukhan, Jacques. Genesis. Nampa, Idaho, Pacific Press Publishing Association ; [Hagerstown, Maryland, 2016.)
Tamar’s ethnicity is undisclosed, but commentators often assume a Canaanite lineage since the text does not indicate an Israelite connection. Conversely, one could argue that the identification of Judah’s wife as a Canaanitess (v. 2) means that the silence of the text for Tamar’s ethnicity implies that she was Israelite.If she were of Canaanite background, matters were turning from bad to worse, since another generation would have married outside the Abraham family (e.g., Ishmael, Esau; also Simeon, 46:10). Joseph, too, will marry an Egyptian (“Asenath”), but the event is somewhat mitigated by his circumstances; she is a gift from Pharaoh (41:45). The text tends to veil his foreign marriage under the act of naming “Manasseh” and “Ephraim,” whose meaning revealed the mind-set of Joseph (41:50–52; 46:20).
- K. A. Mathews, Genesis 11:27–50:26 11:27–50:26, vol. 1B, The New American Commentary (Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 2005), 715–716.
Er was not a nice person
7 But Er, Judah’s firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the Lord, and the Lord killed him.
- Genesis 38:7 NKJV
Many wonder what exactly was the “evil” committed by Er, but the text does not tell us. There is likely a connection with divine judgment warnings found in texts like Exodus 22:23-24 that include the language “your wives will become widows.” The phrase, “evil in the eyes of the Lord,” is a popular Deuteronomic phrase that describes many different unlawful behaviors, especially idolatry (e.g., Deut 4:25; 17:2; Judg 2:11; 1 Sam 15:19; 2 Sam 12:9; esp. 1, 2 Kings). “To put to death” often describes God’s judgment or capital punishment by human agency (e.g., Exod 4:24; Num 35:19, 21). (K. A. Mathews, 716.)
It is worth noting that this is the first time in the Bible where the text explicitly states that God killed someone.
Levirate Marriage?
8 And Judah said to Onan, “Go in to your brother’s wife and marry her, and raise up an heir to your brother.” 9 But Onan knew that the heir would not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in to his brother’s wife, that he emitted on the ground, lest he should give an heir to his brother. 10 And the thing which he did displeased the Lord; therefore He killed him also.
- Genesis 38:8-10 NKJV
Deuteronomy 25:5–10 provides the details of the practice, which is illustrated in the Judah-Tamar episode (cf. Luke 20:28). The purpose for this practice was to “produce [qûm] offspring” in the name of the deceased (cf. Deut 25:5, 7, lit., “to establish the brother’s name”). Levirate Marriage is also discussed in the book of Ruth, for more on that read my post Love is… (Part 4)
In accordance with the custom of levirate marriage (“brother-in-law”), Judah instructs Onan to have sexual relations with his deceased brother’s widow, Tamar. Onan, however, refused to impregnate Tamar, ejaculating on the ground (coitus interruptus).
Onan did not want to impregnate Tamar because he did not want to reduce his share of the family inheritance. He stood first in line after the death of Er, and producing a son by his brother’s widow would mean the loss of his new status as heir. His behavior possibly indicates that the men in Judah’s household had struggled for supremacy, as we have found it commonly in the households of the patriarchs Isaac and Jacob. This family travesty results in the kindled anger of the Lord against Onan (v. 10). (K. A. Mathews, 716–717.)
Some use this text to say that using any kind of birth control is sinful, others take it even a step further to say that masturbation is a sin. Interestingly people have taken the name of Onan and turned it into a verb, Onanism which Merriam-Webster defines as 1. masturbation, 2. coitus interruptus, and 3. self-gratification. I am not going to discuss whether or not I think masturbation or using birth control is sinful, but I do want to clarify that I believe this application of these texts is unwarranted. The Messiah was to come from the seed of Judah, therefore Onan’s deliberate refusal to give his brother an heir threatens the entire plan of salvation. Onan’s selfishness impacts many more people than he could ever imagine. Onan, like his brother Er, had the opportunity to be a member of the family line that ultimately led to not only to King David but ultimately the Messiah, the Savior of the World.
Onan had no way of knowing God’s plans for Judah’s family at this point in history, but do we likewise minimize the importance we play in God’s plan to bless those around us?
Does our selfishness cause those around us to miss out on blessings God wants to give them?
To focus on Onan’s specific behavior and say it is wrong is to miss the big picture. There are many ways that our selfish behavior can negatively impact those around us and generations to come, I would not limit Onan’s sin to simply the things indicated by the definition of onanism.
Tamar must be the problem
Then Judah said to Tamar his daughter-in-law, “Remain a widow in your father’s house till my son Shelah is grown.” For he said, “Lest he also die like his brothers.” And Tamar went and dwelt in her father’s house.
- Genesis 38:11 NKJV
Is the Bible misogynistic?
Does the Bible prop up the patriarchy to the detriment of women everywhere?
If the Bible was pro-male and anti-female, it would have skipped this story altogether. The text here is not prescribing Judah’s behavior, but rather describing his behavior. As a man of his time, Judah assumed the problem must be Tamar and not his sons. But are not all parents tempted to think similarly? Blame the teacher, blame the other child, it’s anyone’s fault but my child’s, much less my own. It would take humility and maturity for Judah to grasp what was really going on. It was easier to blame Tamar and “protect” his last remaining son Shelah.
Judah protects his sole remaining heir by sending Tamar home to her father’s house (cp. Lev 22:13). By relegating her to the life of a “widow” (ʾalmānâ), for whom special protections are necessary (e.g., Exod 22:22[21]; Deut 24:17–21), Judah puts her future at jeopardy with no husband or potential son to care for her (Job 24:21; Ps 94:6; Isa 10:12; Mark 12:40). He does so under the pretense of Shelah’s adolescence, but he has no intention of subjecting his son to Tamar’s string of misfortune. “For he thought” translates the verbal root ʾāmar, “to say,” indicating interior dialogue, that is, he said to himself (e.g., 1 Sam 18:17). This is the narrative’s way of explaining to the reader Judah’s motivation for his peculiar behavior. He appears oblivious to the reasons for his sons’ deaths.
- K. A. Mathews, Genesis 11:27–50:26, vol. 1B, The New American Commentary (Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 2005), 717.
Desperate Measures
12 Now in the process of time the daughter of Shua, Judah’s wife, died; and Judah was comforted, and went up to his sheepshearers at Timnah, he and his friend Hirah the Adullamite. 13 And it was told Tamar, saying, “Look, your father-in-law is going up to Timnah to shear his sheep.” 14 So she took off her widow’s garments, covered herself with a veil and wrapped herself, and sat in an open place which was on the way to Timnah; for she saw that Shelah was grown, and she was not given to him as a wife.
- Genesis 38:12 -14NKJV
Tamar’s desperate condition leads her to embrace desperate measures. Shelah is grown and Judah did not fulfill his promise to give him to Tamar. Judah should have taken Tamar under his wings to provide for her, but instead, he sent her back to her father’s house. Because she was supposed to marry Shelah she is not free to marry anyone else. Tamar is trapped with no viable options.
After the proper period of mourning had ended, Judah returned to his daily activities, including the shearing of his flocks. The timing of Judah’s trip to Timnah with his Canaanite friend at a crucial moment suggests that this trip could be a part of the comforting process. Sheep shearing was an occasion for partying (Genesis 31:19; 1 Sam 25:2-37; 2 Sam 13:23-28) and was even associated in Canaanite religion with the rituals of sacred prostitution (Hosea 4:13-14). (Doukhan, Jacques. Genesis. Nampa, Idaho, Pacific Press Publishing Association ; [Hagerstown, Maryland, 2016. p424)
Change of Clothing
Remember that apparel is an important signal of social status, especially in the narrative of Joseph (see Joseph part 1 and part 2).
Tamar takes off her widow’s garment which distinctively indicates that she has lost a husband (2 Samuel 14:2) and instead covers herself with a veil which suggests that she is promised to a husband (Genesis 24:65; 29:21-25). (ibid) After all, she was promised to Shelah who is now grown and able to marry.
A woman’s veil was not the garment of a harlot but of a betrothed woman (see Genesis 24:65; 29:21–25). Assyrian law forbid an unmarried woman from wearing a veil. The irony of the veil was that it not only hid her identity but it also could have signaled that she had been given in pledge to another, namely, Shelah.
- K. A. Mathews, Genesis 11:27–50:26, vol. 1B, The New American Commentary (Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 2005), 718.
Dr. Jacques Doukhan adds that according to Assyrian law, only sacred prostitutes had to be veiled in public; regular prostitutes were forbidden to wear a veil. (Ancient Near East Texts Relating to the Old Testament. 3rd ed. Edited by J.B. Pritchard, Princeton: Princeton University Press 1969, 183 #40) This means that by involving himself with a veiled woman Judah was not only simply “satisfying his sexual frustration due to the loss of his wife” but he is also involving himself in a Canaanite cult. (Doukhan, Jacques. Genesis. Nampa, Idaho, Pacific Press Publishing Association ; [Hagerstown, Maryland, 2016. p425)
Location, location, location
It was Tamar’s location on the road that suggested her business (cf. Jer 3:2; Ezek 16:25) and not necessarily her outfit. She stationed herself alone at the entrance to the town to ensure that she would encounter travelers (cf. Prov 8:3; 9:14; 2 Kgs 23:8). (K. A. Mathews, 718.) This description of Tamar’s behavior reveals the depths of her humiliation. She set aside her widowhood for the demeaning status of a prostitute. The widow who has been mistreated by the men of her family uses the sinful desires of her father-in-law to turn the tables on him.
Watch the eyes
she took off her widow’s garments and covered herself with a veil, wrapping herself up, and sat at the entrance to Enaim, which is on the road to Timnah. For she saw that Shelah was grown up, and she had not been given to him in marriage.
- Genesis 38:14 ESV (bold mine)So she took off her widow’s garments, covered herself with a veil and wrapped herself, and sat in an open place which was on the way to Timnah; for she saw that Shelah was grown, and she was not given to him as a wife.
- Genesis 38:14 NKJV (bold mine)
She chose “Enaim” (ʿênayim), meaning “eyes,” to spring her trap. Some translations translate it as “an open place” is not a bad translation, but you miss something, a certain play on words. Its location is unknown, identified only as “on the road to Timnah” from Adullam (but this place could be Enam in the territory of Judah, see Joshua 15:34).
“Enaim” may have one of a number of potential wordplays when we remember that she veiled her identity, leaving exposed only her eyes, and the importance in the narrative of visual effects signaling sexual relationships (notice the usage of the word “saw,” vv. 2, 14, 15).
And Judah saw there a daughter of a certain Canaanite whose name was Shua, and he married her and went in to her.
- Genesis 38:2 NKJV (bold mine)So she took off her widow’s garments, covered herself with a veil and wrapped herself, and sat in an open place which was on the way to Timnah; for she saw that Shelah was grown, and she was not given to him as a wife.
- Genesis 38:14 NKJV (bold mine)When Judah saw her, he thought she was a harlot, because she had covered her face.
- Genesis 38:15 NKJV (bold mine)
A Harlot?
When Judah saw her, he thought she was a harlot, because she had covered her face.
- Genesis 38:15 NKJV
The word used there is the usual term identifying a harlot (Genesis 34:31), although the root usage (zānâ) can include other forbidden heterosexual relations (Numbers 25:1; Judges 19:2). This seems like a small detail but keep this in mind as we continue to study this story.
An embarrassing sequence of events
16 Then he turned to her by the way, and said, “Please let me come in to you”; for he did not know that she was his daughter-in-law.
So she said, “What will you give me, that you may come in to me?”
17 And he said, “I will send a young goat from the flock.”
So she said, “Will you give me a pledge till you send it?”
18 Then he said, “What pledge shall I give you?”
So she said, “Your signet and cord, and your staff that is in your hand.” Then he gave them to her, and went in to her, and she conceived by him.
- Genesis 38:16-18 NKJV
The biblical text is clear, Judah unwittingly had sexual relations with his “daughter-in-law,” fooled by her appearance (v. 16). His act transgressed sexual prohibitions stated later in levitical law (Leviticus 18:15; 20:12). He probably thought no one would know what he did. How could Judah have known that his “secret sin” would be read by people thousands of years later?
By the way, if someone were to temper with the Bible, or if it is simply a regular book authored by humans, why mention embarrassing accounts of the patriarchs of the faith? Why not omit these stories and only mention stories that make the patriarchs look good? These terrible stories, in my mind, serve as further evidence that the Bible is no ordinary book. But the story is not over yet…
This story brings to the forefront several of the themes of the story of Jacob (and Joseph).
Deception involving clothing.
Genesis 27:15 Jacob wears Esau’s clothing
Genesis 37:31-33 Joseph’s tunic was taken by his brothers dipped in blood and sent to their father.
Deception involving a young goat.
Genesis 27:16 Rebecca places skins of the kids of the goats on Jacob’s hands and neck.
Genesis 37:31 Joseph’s coat was dipped in the blood of a kid of the goats and then sent to his father.
As the story of Jacob and Joseph progresses we see those who deceive others end up being deceived by others. There are more themes and Matthews does a great job in pointing them out. Here are some things he mentions.
The recurring terms “know” (yādaʿ, vv. 9, 16, 26) and “recognize” (nākar, vv. 25–26) bring this motif to the forefront.
Judah wrongly ascribed to Tamar the reason for his sons’ deaths (v. 11), not knowing that the Lord had punished them (vv. 7, 10).
Judah does not understand why Tamar required the particular personal items for a pledge (v. 18).
Judah’s failure to “know” (yādaʿ, v. 16) her identity but his recognition (“recognize,” nākar, v. 25) of his pledge echoes Jacob’s ignorance of what became of Joseph, a ruse fostered by Judah and the brothers (37:32–33).
Judah’s lack of knowledge anticipates the motif of recognition in Joseph’s court, for the brothers failed to “recognize” (42:8) and “know” (42:23) Joseph’s identity.
That Judah was unaware of her identity recalls Laban’s deception of Jacob by giving him Leah (29:23–25) and the immorality of Lot’s daughters, who tricked him during a drunken stupor, catching him unaware (lōʾ yādaʿ, 19:33, 35).
That the text comments “[Judah] did not sleep [lit., “know,” yādaʿ] with her again” (v. 26) at the conclusion of his embarrassing confession provides a subtle allusion to his gullibility.
In addition to the brothers and Jacob collectively, Judah’s lack of knowledge provides a foil for the wisdom of Joseph, who is the interpreter of dreams par excellence and whose knowledge and insight gain him the upper hand over his siblings.
His brothers meanwhile are dim-witted like Esau, unsuspecting of their host’s identity and his knowledge of their conversations. (K. A. Mathews, Genesis 11:27–50:26, vol. 1B, The New American Commentary (Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 2005), 719–720.)
A business transaction?
The interaction between Judah and Tamar is so cold. It makes me so uncomfortable that they treat this encounter as a simple business transaction. After all, this is all it seems to be to them, at least to Judah. Judah is so oblivious he does not realize he is about to commit the sins of adultery and incest. Tamar is still betrothed to Shelah (Deuteronomy 22:23-24) and she is also Judah’s daughter-in-law (Leviticus 18:15).
Whereas Judah has lost his lucidity and self-control, Tamar behaves as a shrewd businesswoman and is in full control of the situation.
- Doukhan, Jacques, 425.
Tamar plays out her role by asking for the appropriate payment, “What will you give me?” Matthews points out that this may be a play on the failures of Onan and Judah, the former who did not “give his semen” (v. 9) and the latter’s son to whom “she had not been given” (v. 14). (K. A. Mathews, 720.)
Tamar was probably aware that Judah would not have been prepared for this transaction and would not be able to pay cash. Considering her past experiences with Judah she required an immediate guarantee in the form of objects that would prove his identity. She took the equivalent of his driver’s license, his major credit cards, and his passport.
Foolishly he yields his personal identifying credentials used in official transactions. The ancient cylinder “seal” (ḥôtām/ḥôtemet) was typically made of engraved stone that was rolled across soft clay and on pottery handles, leaving an authoritative and authenticating imprint (e.g., Exod 28:11; 1 Kgs 21:8).
- K. A. Mathews, 720.
The signet was attached to a rope, which was worn around the neck. The “staff” (מַטֶּה mateh) was a stick representing the authority of the owner (Numbers 17:3). The same Hebrew word also means tribe (Numbers 2:7,12) The holder of the mateh would represent the tribe, as its leader; thus the mateh became the ensign of royalty, the scepter (Ezekiel 19:11,14), with a messianic connotation (Psalm 110:2). In this story Judah’s staff may be an allusion to the messianic destiny associated tot he tribe of Judah (Genesis 24:17; Numbers 24:27) (Doukhan, Jacques, 425.)
She conceived by him
Then he said, “What pledge shall I give you?”
So she said, “Your signet and cord, and your staff that is in your hand.” Then he gave them to her, and went in to her, and she conceived by him.
- Genesis 38:18 NKJV
The fact that Tamar became pregnant by that first and only act of intimacy (Genesis 38:26b) is one of many subtle indicators that divine providence superintended the events leading to her impregnation.
Are you okay with this interpretation? Are you okay with God’s will being accomplished in this manner? Is it okay for God’s will to come through even when deception and adultery are involved?
I am not saying it was God’s will for this to happen. But is it okay for God to work through the messy lives of sinful human beings in order to bring about great blessings for all of humanity?
Are we okay with this story being in the Bible? Does it make you uncomfortable or does it give you hope and peace?
This story is not about going out there an committing adultery or behaving like a prostitute. This is not a story that encourages deception as a means of gaining advantage. This story is about God in His infinite mercy using incredibly flawed human beings to bring about blessings and restoration.
But there is more to this story, we are not done yet.
Back to life as usual
So she arose and went away, and laid aside her veil and put on the garments of her widowhood.
- Genesis 38:19 NKJV
Tamar goes back home and changes back to her usual outfit and no one is aware of what she did. Want to make this story even more uncomfortable. Place yourself in Tamar’s shoes. You go back home, you put on your widow’s garments. Along with your garments comes a reminder of your lot in life, a hopeless widow. You are betrothed to a young man who will probably never marry you. You can’t marry anyone else. You are doomed to live out your days in your father’s house, forgotten, ignored, forsaken. Would you be praying to God that you became pregnant by your father-in-law?
Would you be praying to God that He blesses your deception?
If you were God, would you answer that prayer?
Would you bless Tamar’s plan, the deception of Judah, one of the patriarchs of the children of Israel?
Would you choose the man who had power and freedom, or would you choose to help the helpless widow?
Not a simple story. This mess is what God has to work with. We know that Tamar conceived by Judah (Genesis 38:18), but she does not know that right away. She had one shot, and it will likely be a while until she finds out whether it worked or not. Even if she does become pregnant, what will happen after that?
Where is the harlot?
20 And Judah sent the young goat by the hand of his friend the Adullamite, to receive his pledge from the woman’s hand, but he did not find her. 21 Then he asked the men of that place, saying, “Where is the harlot who was openly by the roadside?”
And they said, “There was no harlot in this place.”
22 So he returned to Judah and said, “I cannot find her. Also, the men of the place said there was no harlot in this place.”
- Genesis 38:20-22 NKJV
Judah is probably embarrassed by what happened so he sends his friend, the Adullamite, who seems to be more comfortable with the task. It is worthwhile to note that the word used for “harlot” in Genesis 38:21 is not the same word used in Genesis 38:15. Genesis 38:15 used the word זָנָה zana or prostitute, whereas Genesis 38:21 uses the word קְדֵשָׁה qdesa or temple prostitute. One way of looking at this is that Judah sees a prostitute, but his friend perhaps feels awkward asking around about the prostitute while he has a young goat with him. Maybe it would be more culturally appropriate to ask about a temple prostitute because now he looks like a religious man as opposed to a random guy visiting their town asking around about a prostitute.
Side note, the popularity of temple prostitutes in pagan worship could be one of the main reasons why God did not have female priests.
And they said, “There was no harlot in this place.”
Indeed there never was a prostitute of any kind there, only a wronged woman trying to take justice into her own hands.
Lest we be shamed
Then Judah said, “Let her take them for herself, lest we be shamed; for I sent this young goat and you have not found her.”
- Genesis 38:23 NKJV
Judah is afraid word will get out that he was outwitted, by a prostitute. Judah is embarrassed that he was bested by a woman and is now trying to do damage control. Maybe if he just forgets the whole thing and just sweeps this matter under the rug everything will go on as normal. Judah is likely hoping no one recognized him, hoping his friend won’t tell anyone and that he will never encounter that woman again. And perhaps that is a possibility if Judah learns his lesson, humbles himself, and repents for his past sins.
Tamar played the harlot
And it came to pass, about three months after, that Judah was told, saying, “Tamar your daughter-in-law has played the harlot; furthermore she is with child by harlotry.”
So Judah said, “Bring her out and let her be burned!”
- Genesis 38:24 NKJV
Clearly, Judah had not released Tamar to marry another, which later was an option provided in Deuteronomy 25:5–10. Since she was to live as a widow in her father’s house (Genesis 38:11), implying that she was to abstain from sexual contact, the community concluded what was evident on the face of it: she had become pregnant by harlotry.
If Tamar is Judah’s daughter-in-law, why is she living with her father and not with him? If she is under his authority why is he not providing for her? Should not Judah provide her with a home, food, and a husband? He is neglecting his responsibilities to care for her but he seems all too eager to punish her for her sin. Judah wants Tamar to be burned. That is a very cruel punishment and a terrible way to die, but perhaps he hopes to establish his honor and free his youngest son to marry someone else.
Most striking is the call for Tamar’s burning, which is rare in Mosaic law as a form of capital punishment; it is reserved for the heinous sex crimes of a man’s marriage to his mother-in-law and the promiscuous daughter of a priest (Lev 20:14; 21:9; contrast stoning in Deut 21:21, 24). Burning the body was an act of severe degradation (2 Kgs 23:16; Amos 2:1). The Code of Hammurapi (§§110, 157) provides for the burning of culprits in the cases of a religious transgressor and a sexual offender. Perhaps the essential idea behind death by fire for sexual offenses was purging the offense from the community (e.g., Josh 6:24; burned after stoning, 7:15, 25).
- K. A. Mathews, 723.
But while Judah is playing checkers, Tamar is playing 3-D chess.
Recognize this?
When she was brought out, she sent to her father-in-law, saying, “By the man to whom these belong, I am with child.” And she said, “Please determine whose these are—the signet and cord, and staff.”
- Genesis 38:25 NKJV
Although Judah and the men of the city appear to have complete power over Tamar’s fate, by her knowledge she maintains power over the bamboozled men. ( K. A. Mathews, 723.)
Tamar does not make a direct charge but permits Judah to draw the obvious conclusion. The language of the verse recalls the brothers’ request of their father regarding the identity of the torn robe (Genesis 37:32): “sent” and “recognize.” The theme of “recognition” recurs here (see Betrayed by Family).
More righteous than I
So Judah acknowledged them and said, “She has been more righteous than I, because I did not give her to Shelah my son.” And he never knew her again.
- Genesis 38:26 NKJV
Checkmate.
Tamar, the victim, the weak, the powerless, the person with no options or resources has come out victorious.
Judah also recognizes his sin and seems to grow from the experience.
That the text adds that he did not have sexual relations with Tamar again showed that the patriarch had repented of his behavior. Although the sexual encounter was wrong, Judah was not satisfied with acknowledging the obvious. He no longer is ignorant of his circumstances or their broader importance Judah’s insight into his guilt and the understanding of the reason that lay behind it points ahead to the character transformation the patriarch will fully undergo. Unlike Reuben and his brothers, Judah perceives the more important underlying issues of their actions, bringing about favorable results (Genesis 42:2; 44:18–34). As Noble summarizes, “Judah shows a remarkable ability to bring the heart of the matter clearly into view, and thereby to enable his present circumstances to be seen from a new perspective.”
- K. A. Mathews, 723–724.
A friend of mine and fellow pastor J. Harold Alomia shared something with me that I had never considered. Here’s my paraphrase of what he shared.
In some ways, Tamar is like Christ. She has to become something in order to get something by that was hers to begin with and has to undergo the abuse pertaining to her sacrifice of playing something she’s not.
What do you think? It sure gave me some food for thought.
Tamar’s legacy
27 Now it came to pass, at the time for giving birth, that behold, twins were in her womb. 28 And so it was, when she was giving birth, that the one put out his hand; and the midwife took a scarlet thread and bound it on his hand, saying, “This one came out first.” 29 Then it happened, as he drew back his hand, that his brother came out unexpectedly; and she said, “How did you break through? This breach be upon you!” Therefore his name was called Perez. 30 Afterward his brother came out who had the scarlet thread on his hand. And his name was called Zerah.
- Genesis 38:27-30 NKJV
That Tamar had twins reminds us of the birth of Jacob and Esau, even using the exact words of Genesis 25:24. The peculiar circumstances of their birth revealed that the younger superseded the elder. These details of Tamar’s delivery become important to determining the chosen successor to Jacob’s position. The narrative implies that Judah is the successor in the sense that his descendants will rule over their sibling tribes (Genesis 49:8, 10; 1 Chronicles 5:2). The children’s birth conveys the same rivalry that marked the chosen line in the lives of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.
Want to know what became of Perez?
18 Now this is the genealogy of Perez: Perez begot Hezron; 19 Hezron begot Ram, and Ram begot Amminadab; 20 Amminadab begot Nahshon, and Nahshon begot Salmon; 21 Salmon begot Boaz, and Boaz begot Obed; 22 Obed begot Jesse, and Jesse begot David.
- Ruth 4:18-22 NKJV
Matthew 1:3 mentions Tamar and Perez in the genealogy of Jesus. Tamar is the first woman to be mentioned in the genealogy of Jesus. Interestingly Jesus’ genealogy excludes the great matriarchs Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel and Leah. Yet Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, and the wife of Uriah, are mentioned in Jesus’ genealogy. Perhaps it is because all of these women had highly irregular and even suspicious marital relationships and in many ways foreshadowed Mary, the mother of Jesus, who also had a similarly suspicious case, being pregnant while unmarried to her husband. There is a theme here that we also see in the story of Joseph, where the suspicion of evil will be turned into good and will lead to deliverance (Genesis 50:20).
Just as God delivered Tamar through Judah’s dubious relation with her, God also delivered Joseph, and ultimately, the land through Judah’s sale of Joseph, and ultimately the entire world through the betrayal of Jesus.
God can bring good out of tragedies.
I am not saying that God wishes for tragedies, but rather that there is hope even in the midst of tragedies.
Whatever mess you are in, come to God and let him bless you and bring you out of it, regardless of what you may have done in the past.
Don’t count yourself out just because your life is messy.
Don’t count yourself out because you have made mistakes.
Don’t count yourself out because you have been wronged by those in power and those who should know better.
God can do mighty things in your life and through you. you have no idea the positive impact your life can have on the lives of those around you.
Tamar is a strong female character, not because she is perfect or has superpowers, but because in her weakness she refused to give up hope. Tamar is a strong person because in her weakness God’s strength was made manifest.
“For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
-2 Corinthians 12:3b
