Turning the Hearts of The Fathers

“Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the great and awesome day of the LORD comes. And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the land with a decree of utter destruction.”
- Malachi 4:5-6 ESV

I know that many interpret this text to mean that Elijah will once again walk the earth before the end of times. However, texts like Luke 1:17, and Matthew 11:14; 17:12-13 clearly indicate that John the Baptist fulfilled this prophecy with regards to preparing the way for the earthly ministry of Jesus. With this in mind, I find it perfectly appropriate to interpret this prophecy found in Malachi 5:5-6 to God’s people who are expecting Jesus to come again. I don’t think it is difficult to believe that there will be an ultimate fulfillment of this prophecy before the second coming of Jesus. I believe that we, God’s followers, are called to go out in the power and spirit of Elijah and proclaim God’s message to the world. I would say this goes hand in hand with the three angelic messages of Revelation 14:6-12. There is a tendency to make Revelation about the distant future, or the middle east, but I believe that it applies to our lives today. Angels are messengers, and we are God’s messengers, called to proclaim the eternal gospel to everyone!

Then I saw another angel flying in the midst of heaven, having the everlasting gospel to preach to those who dwell on the earth—to every nation, tribe, tongue, and people— saying with a loud voice, “Fear God and give glory to Him, for the hour of His judgment has come; and worship Him who made heaven and earth, the sea and springs of water.”
- Revelation 14:6-7 NKJV

I find that this message is one that helps us remain focused on our mission, to proclaim the gospel. It is also a message that promotes unity since the message has to go to every nation, tribe, tongue, and people. It also provides unity because it reminds us that God created us, and as His creatures we are of equal value, not to mention that the gospel is all about Jesus’ death for our sins, making our lives of infinite value. If we focus on our role as messengers of God to proclaim the gospel to the whole world it would destroy racism.

On a side note, I just learned that the entire title of Darwin’s Origin of Species is actually

On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection, or the Preservation of Favoured Races in the Struggle for Life.

Does that title make you a little uncomfortable in light of current events? Does the idea of a favored race make you uncomfortable? It should. So many Christians have turned their back on the biblical account of creation, and now they want to claim how we are all created in God’s image. How can you embrace evolution and want to quote Genesis 1:27?

God created humankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them, male and female he created them.
- Genesis 1:27 NET Bible

Back to my main line of thought. We ought to busy ourselves with the prophetic proclamation of the gospel in the context of God as our creator and Jesus as our redeemer and the soon return of Jesus in power and glory! Of course, we can only do this through the power of the Holy Spirit. On this post, however, I want to focus on the words of Malachi 4:6

And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the land with a decree of utter destruction.”
- Malachi 4:5 ESV

I have been reading about privilege and systemic racism and trying to better understand the history and the forces at play in our current situation here in the United States. I am aware that this is a complex issue and I am not going to address it now. But one point that I read and heard repeatedly is how detrimental the absence of a father is for children. Being reminded of this is what got me thinking about this passage. Could it be that part of proclaiming the gospel and preparing the world for the second coming of Jesus involves encouraging fathers to be involved in the lives of his children? I know you can read the text as a general calling for parents, but in light of Father’s Day being this Sunday, I would like to take this opportunity to address fathers specifically. I don’t want anyone to feel left out, and much of what I will say should be beneficial for all to consider, but I will repeatedly address fathers on this post and I hope you can be understanding.

God as a Father

The Bible repeatedly refers to God as Father.

But now, O LORD, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand.
- Isaiah 64:8 ESV

Fathers.

Think about this.

The way you treat your daughter, the way you treat your son will shape how they view and relate to God. If you forget everything else I write remember this point. This is a massive responsibility!

I had the opportunity to listen to William Paul Young, the author of The Shack, and he shared how it took him a long time (30+ years? I don’t remember exactly) to wipe the face of his father off of the face of God. That hit me hard. I was not a father at the time, I was a student. That was the first time that I realized the incredible responsibility fathers have. When a father is abusive or absent, it may take the child decades to learn to see God as loving and involved.

The Importance of Fathers

Fathers do not only have a significant impact on how their sons and daughters view and relate to God. Fathers play an extremely important role in a child’s well-being and success. 

Statistics suggest that children in father-absent homes are more likely to be poor. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 44% of children in mother-only families were living in poverty, compared to only 12% of children living in a household headed by a married couple.

The U.S. Department of Health has reported similar statistics that connect absent fathers with poverty. In a 2012 report, they found that children living in female-headed households with no spouse present had a poverty rate of 47.6%, over 4 times the rate of married-couple families. (source)

for more check out https://www.fatherhood.org/father-absence-statistic

There is no question that fathers do play an important part in their children's lives: the majority of studies affirm that an involved father can play a crucial role, particularly in the cognitive, behavioral, and general health and well-being areas of a child's life; having a positive male role model helps an adolescent boy develop positive gender-role characteristics; adolescent girls are more likely to form positive opinions of men and are better able to relate to them when parented by an involved father; it is generally accepted, under most circumstances, that a father's presence and involvement can be as crucial to a child's healthy development as a mother's; and experiencing validation of their importance in the general parenting literature has made fathers much more conscious of their value, which, in turn, leads to their greater desire to be involved.
- Psychology Today

Fathers, you have the power to grant to your children “privilege” by being present and involved in the lives of your children. My goal here is not to discourage families where the father is absent, but to encourage all the fathers who are reading to become more involved in the lives of their children. If you are thinking about becoming a father, think through this carefully. If you are going to do it, be prepared to give it your all.

Responsibility

‘The fathers have eaten sour grapes,
And the children’s teeth are set on edge.’
- Ancient Proverb quoted in Jeremiah 31:29

The book of Jeremiah quotes an ancient proverb about fathers eating sour grapes and the children being born with sensitive teeth. Jeremiah is actually arguing against this proverb by stating that each person will die for their own iniquity and not that of their father (parents). But I find this to be an interesting proverb. Though God does not hold the sins of our parents against us, we do suffer because of the sins of our parents.

Now the Lord descended in the cloud and stood with him there, and proclaimed the name of the Lord. And the Lord passed before him and proclaimed, “The Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abounding in goodness and truth, keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, by no means clearing the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children and the children’s children to the third and the fourth generation.”
- Exodus 34:5-7 NKJV

God is able and willing to forgive, but your sinful behavior affects those around you. The sinful behavior of parents affects the next generations. The sinful behavior of fathers causes children to suffer. A father who chooses to abuse alcohol, to be violent, to lie, cheat, and steal, to do drugs, etc. are dooming their kids to a much more difficult life.

Here is my take on this. This is my opinion. But I believe that mother’s day is much more popular than father’s day because, even though mothers are not more perfect than fathers, they tend to stick around more often. There are always exceptions, I know. I had a whole post on mothers and the guilt they constantly feel. Mothers are not born better at raising children, they often just get more practice. I believe father’s day is not as popular because, as a rule, fathers are not as present.

With this in mind, this is my appeal to fathers. Fathers, I am not asking you to be perfect. I am not asking you to always know what to do. I am not asking you to make a ton of money. I am asking you to be present. Yes, work, yes, have a job, yes have a hobby, but make your presence in your family a priority. Overworking does not excuse your absence. Your kids prefer to have you than more money. Work enough, keep a job, put in your hours, but also put in your hours with your kids. Support the mother of your kids.

Remember earlier when I mentioned Genesis and creation as the best argument for equality and dignity of every human being. The same book establishes marriage and the family. Same God. You really should not cherry-pick. Don’t mention God as creator if you are going to reject His plans for the family. God created you and He knows that a family with a father and a mother is ideal. Be there for your wife. Be there for your children. You don’t have to be perfect. Just be present.

I don’t want to beat anyone up with the Bible. I don’t want to heap guilt over anyone’s head. But I do want to encourage every father who is reading to make an effort to be more present.

But you might argue that you’re having to work extra hard. Maybe you’re starting your own business. Maybe you’re extra busy due to COVID-19, maybe you’re working full time and taking classes online. If you are struggling to find time to invest in your kids I have good news for you. And this might surprise you, but it’s also found in Genesis. Genesis 1-2 presents us not only God as our creator and provider, not only does it give us the marriage of one man and one woman as God’s ideal for those who want to have a family, it also gives us the Sabbath. God gave us a day, 24hrs, to rest from all our labor and to invest in our relationships. Maybe because of your schedule or current condition you have limited time to spend with your kids during the week. Take advantage of the Sabbath. Spend time with your kids, teach them about God, share stories of what God has done for you. Tell your kids about what it was like when you were growing up. Tell them about how you overcame challenges and difficulties. Play with your kids, wrestle, laugh together, read together, tell jokes.

Be present.

You can do this. And you will be happier for it. Realizing that you are a role model for your children will motivate you to make better decisions. As a father you extra motivation to be kind, to listen, to play, to exercise, to eat healthily, and to avoid harmful substances and dangerous behavior. God wants to help you be a better father. There is every reason under the sun for you to become a better father.

Jesus is coming soon. Part of our mission as we wait for His return is to go out in the spirit and power of Elijah and turn the hearts of the fathers to their children. I hope you can join me in this mission.

For further reading:

Psychology today collection of articles on the power of Dads https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/collections/201206/the-power-dads

The Art of Manliness post On the Importance of Fathers
https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/the-importance-of-fathers-according-to-science/

Father Absence Harms Children
https://www.fatherhood.org/father-absence-statistic