The Relationship Episode

I strongly recommend you listen to the audio of this interview, but I will also have the transcript of our conversation in case you want to read it.

Disclaimer: We are not marriage counselors. We're just married people. So we're just sharing our personal experiences. We are sharing what worked for us. So, this is not like marriage advice per se. This is just, what's worked in our marriage.

For this episode, I have a very special guest. My wife, Vanessa. We just celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary and we're celebrating with a special episode where you guys sent in questions anonymously.

So we don't know who asked these questions. We shared the link to our social media, to my Instagram and our Facebook page. And now we're gonna be looking at those questions and answering them. 

Boundaries

The first question is what kind of boundaries protect your marriage?

So what kind of boundaries protect your marriage? I wish there were more details on this question.

I'm not sure who was asking what kind of boundaries specifically they're talking about. We're going to assume it's regarding fidelity and some of the boundaries that I set for myself. Is that I, I avoid being by myself, with a member of the opposite sex. So, I don't go on car rides with another woman if it’s just the two of us.

If there are other people in the car, that's fine. If I meet with someone in my office, usually my administrative assistant is right next door. I also have big windows in my office and they're open.

It's not that there's a lack of trust. We just this protect each other. And also to avoid the appearance of, anything negative.

My wife and I also spend a lot of time together.

We do everything together, mostly together. We have joint bank accounts, and our Facebook page is together and that's more for convenience because I don't go on Facebook that often, so my wife runs it. We have, passwords to each other's phones. We don't really have anything that we keep from each other. We don't feel the need to separate things or that we have to have our own thing.

I guess we trust each other to the fullest. Yeah. To my wife, you know, every now and then, you know, I give her my phone. Hey, can you look this up? Or can you check on this? And you know, she'll give me her phone and there's. No fear or like, oh, don't look at my phone or don't check, you know, it's, it's fine.

It's we, we share everything. We talk about everything. Um, but I find that it's, it's important and, and it's good to have, um, boundaries and I think also. There is boundaries in the sense of work and activities where we, we separate, uh, we protect time that we spend with each other. So I guess, boundaries in that sense as well, we don't let, we don't allow work or school or children, um, to take up.

all of our time so that we don't have time to invest in our relationship to sit down, to talk, to share, you know, how was your day and whether you're struggling with whether you enjoy and actually, you know, continue to get to know each other and discover, you know, how we're maturing and growing. And so I think there's boundaries also to protect that time that we spend together.

Difference

What is your biggest difference?

The biggest difference? Well, we have, we have a few, it's hard to rank. I (Vanessa) like quiet. I like to work in quiet environments, they help me focus. I don't like to have any music or any noise so I can focus, especially if I'm writing something like a paper or a text or replying to an email.

If I really am trying to focus on something, noise just frustrates me and makes me anxious. But my husband loves to work with music for him. He can have music all the time. It's on from the time he wakes up to the time he goes to bed, (if he's not talking to somebody). Music is always going on and the kids are going along with his preference.

They're always playing music in the house and I'm always the one asking everybody to shhhhh.

Yeah. So for me (Marlon), when I'm working, I need music because for me, the music blocks out the other noises. So I just got headphones and now I wear headphones. If I'm working on my sermon or something at home, because I find that the music helps and my wife finds it distracting.

So yes, that, that’s right. If I (Vanessa) am cleaning or doing something like that around the house. . I like music, but not if I am trying to focus on like actually writing something.

The other thing is I (Vanessa) like math and science and my husband likes English and history. So that's another difference, I like the numbers.

I like the forms. I like doing the finances. I like. You know, calculating things out, planning months, dates, years, calendars. That's all me. for my husband, time is a lot more fluid. You know, he, he's not really sure what month we're in or year. Most of the time he has to have his agenda with him constantly.

So he, so he can keep track of his things. Time in his mind is a lot more fluid than for me.

So I (Marlon) like stories, I like poetry, I like music. I like art.

I (Vanessa) like those too.

I (Marlon) like games. I like, being goofy, making her laugh, and doing spontaneous things.

I (Vanessa) am definitely more serious.

I (Marlon) am like, Hey, you wanna bet. Or let's make this into a game. She's like, no, this is serious.

That's another difference between us, but I think that we complement each other. Yeah. It's not a source of, disagreement or tension it's whether it is rather, you know, we, it's a complimentary thing.

We try to use our differences to our collective benefit. So we bolster one another, and strengthen one another with our differences.

(quick note, due to a time crunch the remainder of the blog will not be as cleanly edited, it will just be a transcript of the audio, but I hope to come back later on and edit it more clearly)

Compromise

So how do you deal with things that you can't compromise on? Whether it be morals or stances that you are not willing to budge?

So this is a really tough question.

Once again, we don't know, um, who sent these in, and I wish I knew more details because these are things, um, my wife and I. Sort of have a lot of conversations about this while we were dating, we dated for a long time before we got yes, seven years. So was six years of dating one year of enga engaged. So there was a lot of time for us to talk.

And most of four of those seven, we were, um, we were in college, um, apart, you know, long distance I was in Massachusetts. He was in Tennessee. We only saw each other a couple times a year. So there was a lot of time to. . Yeah. And, and I find that, you know, if you're already married and you're in this situation, it's really.

because, I mean, my wife and I, we agree on the morals. We agree on the ethics. We are of the same faith. And I think that that helps a lot, uh, you know, being on the same page on the sort of the big issues in life and then on all the other things, you know, we, we come to an agreement. We, we usually meet halfway.

or we manage to convince the other that, you know, our, the way that we're pushing for, or that we have in mind or the way that we desire is, is the better way. And you know, when the other one agrees and that's great and we move forward. So I would definitely encourage couples to figure this out. Before you get married, once you're married, it's, it's tough.

Um, I, I would have to know more about this question. Uh, yeah, I'd encourage, you know, if you're having some really tough disagreements, especially when it comes to moral, ethical things that you find somebody to talk to a counselor, a pastor, a counselor, somebody just to kind of help, um, facilitate a discussion and, um, figure out, you know, how you can work through it.

Yeah. And also just be aware, you know, Pastors are not marriage counselors, some are. Um, but you can, you know, it's good to be aware when the pastor has reached his limit and when you should seek professional help, but sometimes you don't need professional help. Sometimes it's just a matter of someone helping you take turns when you're talking and clarifying, what's being said, I find that just clear communication can help a lot of times, but sometimes there are issues there's trauma.

There's other things where you definitely need. Professional help. Mm-hmm so that's my that, and by the way, any of these questions, if you wanna go deeper, just reach out to us through social media or, you know, my blog, just leave a comment and we'll try to get back to you. And, um, we would love to go deeper on any of these issues or questions.

If you have no follow up questions on any of these.

Head of the Household

So here's a question that somebody sent, that I think was specifically for you, cuz it says as a pastor, do you believe the man should be the head of the household and wive should be submissive? I feel like this can be dangerous.

I agree that it can be dangerous.

Uh, there is people that misuse. This principle, because I think they misunderstand what it means to lead what it means to be a leader, what it means to be the head, especially a, a leader based on this verse they're referring to. Yeah. If you're looking at the Bible, Jesus is not the extreme example of the best possible leader.

And he led by serving. by giving of himself. And I believe that if husbands want to lead, like Jesus led, if they're gonna lead by sacrificially giving of themselves for the benefit of those around them, then yes, they should be the leader. Um, but I don't think you should ever tell your wife to submit to your will.

uh, it should be her joy. To follow you because you're such an amazing leader. so the challenge is for the husbands to lead in such a way that others want to follow them, that their wives want to follow them. But if you have to tell your wife, Hey, I am the head of the house and you have to do what I say.

You have failed as a leader. You are not a leader and you need to learn how to be a leader. So I would say never quote this to your wife. I believe the husband should be the leader, but I believe that it should go without. That you're just such a good leader that your wife desires to follow you and just, you know, the way that I go about this, I always talk with my wife, ask her for her input.

What are her ideas? Ask questions, clarify, make suggestions. And this is also how I lead the church. You know, I have amazing leaders. Every church I've worked with. I've had great leaders, wonderful church boards, great elders, great leaders. And I just, I listen to them. I, I take in their wisdom. I am not the smartest men in the room.

I don't want to be, if I am, then I'm in the wrong room. And I don't think, uh, you should marry someone that is inferior intellectually, just so you can feel superior. And, and, and I'll do what I say because I'm smarter, no marry someone that you respect, that you admire, that you look up to that you. To have their input and then yes, lead by all means.

Um, but lead in a way that people want to follow you. Not that you have to tell them that, that you're the leader. And I think in our marriage, we pretty much look at each other as equals. I mean, we discuss everything. We, um, talk through our, our differences until we come to some sort of agreement. Um, so I that's pretty much, you.

Yeah. I have a lot of respect for my wife. It's why I'm married. Her more respect for you. So I, I feel like this text can be misused. So if a husband is ever telling his wife, I'm the head, you have to follow me, then you have failed as the head so you can read the next one.

Overcoming Hardships

What's the hardest thing you have overcome as a couple?

Um, I, that I can remember. I think it's when I was pregnant with Zara, uh, our youngest daughter, well, our, our youngest child, our daughter, our, yes. Um, and I had some complications during pregnancy and then, um, we had to have a C-section and she was born and this, everything seemed fine. But as time went by, there were certain things that weren't.

Like we, you know, quite like they should. And there was lots of doctor's appointments and, you know, suppo, um, possibilities of terrible things. And we prayed a lot and it was a tough time for me, cuz we were also moved at that time. We, we moved districts far, further away from all her, um, her specialist that she was seeing at the time.

So it was. Um, very, just, it was hard on me spiritually and emotionally. I think there was a lot of things going on. So I, I feel like that was a, a tough time, but I appreciate that my husband is, um, he's level headed and he's appreciate that you, I should be talking about cuz you're writing for me here, that you are level headed and that you provide that just.

Support and, you know, over time we have come through that and, um, now, you know, things are well and great. Um, but I, that's the only thing that I can think of specifically. Yeah. I thank God for bringing us through that. And, and I agree. Yeah, it's, it was probably the hardest thing that we've had to deal with or to face together.

Not that life has been easy, but that was like something that we felt like was beyond our control. There was only so much we could do, um, everything else, you know, just life in general, we faced them together and I think it's. It's good. As long as we're on the same team, I think, you know, especially with, with faith and, and God, and that's, that's a big thing in our lives.

Um, we feel like, you know, I've never been without hope. It's always gonna be okay. It's always gonna work out. That's what I was gonna say. We've had difficult times in other areas like financially or, you know, like moving a lot and there's been other things, but I, I don't think. You know, all through that.

There's always that hope in know life things are, are okay. You know, God's still guiding and we know we're gonna make it through. And that was just, it was just a lot all at once. And it was hard. Yeah. It was a combination of things, but yeah, that, that happened. But Hey, we're here and good question. This next one.

Favorite Things

What's your favorite thing about each other.

I'll I'll go first. So the fav my favorite thing about my wife is her character. That's. I think the first thing I admired about her, um, she is. Driven. She is focused. She gets things done. She's the person with the plan. And when we were younger, we were both involved in ministry and, and she just, she excels at everything that she does.

So in school and in everything. And I just admired her for that, for that drive and resilience and just, you know, nobody ever. Push her or has to push her ever. She pushes herself, she sets the goals and she, she does what needs to be done to accomplish them. And I admire that and I wanted someone like that in my life because I feel like I have accomplished more in life as well because of her example and her support and just the way that she is.

Hmm. Thank you. And I appreciate your steadfast. that you are, you know, like you start something, but you, you carry it through, um, Uh, I appreciate that. You love to read widely and listen to many different things. And it is always interesting conversation. I can always share whatever I am, um, studying or if I heard something or if I, you know, I can always share with you.

We have some good conversations. I look forward to our time that we spend together, that we try to get the kids to bed on time. Uh, every day. Hopefully, you know, when my husband's not too busy in the evening, he can make it back home before it's too late. So we can spend a little bit of time and just catching up and sharing different things that we we heard or, or read or, or seen through the day and just catch up on each other's lives.

And I look forward to that so much. So I really appreciate that about you, that. It's never boring. and I appreciate also that you have an interest in, in theology and church things. So we, we can always be interested in each other's lives and each other's worlds. And, um, and talk about it. Just things in general, just things happening all over the world.

Oh, and I also appreciate that you like, um, like you. You like to, how do I say this? Um, I, I don't care too much about dress or about, you know, like, um, I'm just not a very, how do you say fashionable? I don't know if that's the word I'm looking for just, but you enjoy, um, Like you like to look nice. So I appreciate not that I don't like to look nice, but , I don't know how to say this.

So it comes out right. Well, thank you. And I'm glad that you enjoyed it. You're very handsome. . And I'm glad you enjoyed the things that I buy you to wear. Yes. Thank you. I find you very much between you and my mom. They got me covered. Yes. Um, so this next question here is great. You wanna read it? How do you support each other in life in life, endeavors, careers, hobbies, et cetera.

Oh, I guess going back to the other question too, just reminded me. I love to hear your laugh. That's something also. I really love about you. Thank. .

Mutual Support

So how do you support each other in endeavors, careers, hobbies, et cetera?

I think we're a team, a pretty good team. I think. So. I think we have both accomplished more because we have, we can rely on each other, you know, at times.

Um, and we are, we know that we are there for each other, whatever it takes, you know, once we embark on something, whether it's me or him, it's not something. We do on our own as something we do together. Um, so for example, uh, we both did our undergrad and then we graduated and then I went back to school, we got married and then I went back to school after two years, uh, the conference, I guess, enjoyed the work that I was doing said, Hey, well, you know, how would you like to get your master?

So they, they sponsored me for that. And so while I was going to school, you were working and. Later for a time, for a time, then you decided to go to school as well and get, uh, your first degree in biology. So you wanted to get a nursing degree because we felt like that would be helpful. And it was an area that you're interested in medical field.

Mm-hmm so you went for that and we did that together. And then, uh, since we graduated, you know, then the kids were born and. You know, you focus on that and it supported you through that. And now the kids are in school and you wanted to go back to school as well. And we're supporting that. And I also feel supported by you.

You support me in ministry and also in the activities that, that we enjoy share something about that. Yeah. Um, you know, like, I, I, I. Wanted to play the piano and then, you know, you went out and got me a piano so that I could practice and I could, well, a nice electric piano. Yeah. Yes. And I, I nice keyboard. I feel like, um, I've come a long way because of that.

Um, so many other things, I, I, I have lots of ideas and lots of things I like to do. I like to try, I guess I know the ukulele, the, I had a guitar time and a ukulele time and . You know, and you're, he's pretty good at, you're pretty good at encouraging me and supporting me through my photography. Yeah. Um, so I, not that, you know, I, I.

You, I like, you know, I like taking pictures, but you saw more like, oh, I think you could do, you know, more, let's get you some, you know, better equipment and then has take some classes. And so just so I feel like we're both accomplished more, you know, same with you and different things that you're interested in.

Podcasting blogging. yeah. You, you here, I am sitting in this chair. . I wanted to invest a little bit and buy some new equipment. You, you were supportive of that when I wanted to try rock climbing, you were supportive of that as well. So I'm glad that we get to do these things together and we take interest in each other.

I think it gives us joy to invest in one another. Uh, even if it's financially time wise or, you know, going out of our way to do this thing because you know, our spouse enjoys it. Yeah. And definitely do more because we are together individually. We can do more because we can rely on each other. Right. Very good point.

Next question.

Boundaries

What should we do if for a husband does not respect our boundaries?

Oof. That's a tough one. Yeah. And that's a, that's a really difficult one because. , I don't think I have experienced that personally where my boundaries were not respected. Um, it, it might be because we had a lot of discussions.

Like I said, a lot of communication before we got married. So our boundaries were pretty clear and, you know, agreed upon. Well, thank you. Um, they're pretty clear and agreed upon before we came into marriage, but if we were to have an issue that we couldn't communicate about, like I couldn't share and we could come to agreement to definitely look for, for outside help for that one, because that's the tough one.

Yeah. And then though, just for the husbands, you know, I think this was back that leadership thing that we had talked about earlier. Uh, husband, you should always respect the boundaries of your wife. Now, if you don't agree on the boundaries, have a conversation about ask her questions, you know, try to understand the boundary and maybe she's not able to, you know, explain it clearly or in a way that you find satisfactory, find help, get counseling, um, find someone that can help you in your marriage, but never.

Push, never disrespect. Your wife's boundaries always respect it, always respect your wife and respect her boundaries. And, and I think that goes just as Christians. We should be that way towards each other, regardless if you're married or not. But it's very important to respect each other's boundaries and to have a conversation and they'll find help, but never force it never force your wife to do anything she does not want or.

Force anything that she's not comfortable with. Respect each other's boundaries have a conversation about and no seek professional help. But I, I believe husband, if you're, you need to respect her boundaries, even if you disagree with them or you don't understand them. Then talk about it, you know, until you come to an agreement, but never force it.

Yeah. So this kind of goes to, you know, I, if you are considering marriage, this is definitely a key point. Yes. If you are considering marriage, you should definitely, um, talk about these boundaries. You should have definitely come to an agreement as much as possible because it does facilit. Your marriage, you know?

And, um, and sometimes things come up that you don't realize are gonna be an issue, and then you're already married in the arm. And then if you get to that point, it's talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. And if you can't come to a, a, you know, a mutual agreement on anything. Or, or in something you should seek professional help.

Yeah. And it's, you know, it's really important to have these conversations when you're dating, but then yes, respect the boundaries and talk about it. And, you know, I would say to, to the wife in this case seems to be the one asking the question, you'll try to explain it in a way that your husband understands or ask him, you know, what is it about this that you don't understand?

You know, what part of no don't you get, or, you know, um, but just, just have a conversation, um, And, and husbands be, be understanding and, and listen and ask questions. I really find that communication, at least in our marriage has been the key to, to solving all of our problems. And of course, you know, God at the center of it.

But, um, I think that God just helps us to be more loving and, and intentional about listening and, and being kind towards one another.

Secrets

A secret you kept from your parents.

Oh, that's, that's an interesting question. You want me to go first? Or you go, yeah, you, you go. Okay. So when I was, I think I was nine years old, I filled up a two liter bottle.

Uh, you know, those solo bottles, the, the plastic ones we used to have 'em in Brazil. Um, when I was younger in the nineties and I'd lived in the 13th floor, an apartment building. And I filled it up and I went to the kitchen window, which faced towards the there's sort like this space in, in the building where the, the, uh, elevators were.

So there was no nothing behind it, except for in a little bit of space. And there was the other windows. And I dropped the, the water bottle in between them, cuz I wanted to fall down there and the, for the noise to echo and the, the water bottle just sailed all the way down, 13 floors and it just smashed and it was loud and the water came out and the water kept coming out and kept coming out.

And then I realized that I had smashed the pipe. Um, and I don't think I ever told my parents that it was me. You know, the building went without water for a while surprised and they had to fix it. I don't know if they even knew what happened because it wasn't much of the water bottle left, but yeah, that's something that I never really told my parents.

Oh boy. All right. Uh, I can't really think of anything myself. I don't know. My parents pretty were. They knew all my crazy things as a child. And, and as an adult, I respect them. I talked to them once in a while, but you know, we keep our, I don't tell 'em everything about my life. so, um, there's things are just not their business anymore.

Yeah. Yes. So, but, um, yeah. So I'm glad you had something okay. Next,

Attraction

Have you ever been attracted to somebody else besides your wife? how did you overcome that same question for her?

Okay. So I guess it's addressed at me first, you know, um, to, so let's, you know, use your words carefully here. I, I, I don't think I can say that I've been attracted to someone and I guess we could talk about what being attracted means.

I have found women beautiful or cute, uh, that are not my wife or that were not my girlfriend. You know, when we were dating. But I never had any desire for them. So I don't know if attracted here is in that sense. For me, the desire for my wife comes from lots of different things. She's someone that I wanted to have in my life.

I respected her. I, I respect her. I admire her. She's someone that I enjoy being around and that's so much more than just her appearance. Now I do find my wife very attractive as well, but that's just one dimension of it. So finding somebody. Beautiful or cute, um, is not enough to make me attracted to that person.

There has to be other qualities I need to be, you know, there's, there's other things there. And, and I think because I've only shared like intimacy with my wife, then I don't have anyone else to compare it to. I don't have anyone else to that desire to sh it's such an intimate thing that I can only imagine sharing that with one person.

And that's the only person that I ever desire to be with. Um, You know, I think I've had men ask me about this, uh, specifically men that were not members of my church. We were just talking, I think my church members tend to be a little bit shyer around me and other men that don't come to my church here, you know, a little bit more open.

Um, and he was struggl in disregarding in this regard. Yeah. With, you know, Um, relationship, I guess, type of thing. And this gentleman was sharing with me. No, he was having an issue with, with being attracted to somebody else. And he was asking me, how do I dealt with, and I'm like, I never really had that issue.

Um, but in talking, he believed that it was because. Before getting married, he had had several partners and he feels like that did something. And I shared with him, well, I've never had anybody besides my wife, so I'm not sure if that had something to do with it or not, but honestly I've never really felt attracted to anybody else.

Have I've. Found people cute or beautiful. Yes. There's, there's beautiful women in the world and I can look at a woman and say, she's beautiful. Do I desire to be with that woman? No, not really. Um, especially if I don't know anything else about her besides, you know, the picture or the way that she looks that's, that's not enough for me to, for someone to be attracted.

There has to be. More, I need to enjoy being around that person. There needs to be a level of respect and, and several things. And I only feel that towards my wife and I think it has to do also with the time we spent together, the things we've been through and the more I am with her, the, the more, the stronger those feelings grow, because this is something that's not just like a fleeting, emotional thing.

This is something that I've invested 15 years into. It's so shared emotional bond. Yeah. It's so deep. And it's so precious, uh, that I don't, I don't want anything to, you know, interrupt that or get in the way of, I hope I'm making sense as I share this. Yeah. And I, I feel the same. I mean, we were 15. I was 15 when we started dating, I was 16.

Yeah. And, um, he was my, my one and only boyfriend and the only person I've ever been. So I, like he said, you know, there's some, he men around the world, but there aren't really any that I'm attracted to besides him. So not that no. And, and I think, you know, if, if I, if you're looking for tips on how to overcome that one thing that I would say, one thing that I do as habit and my wife is here.

So she can say whether it's true or not, uh, I'm always praising my wife. It's true. I'm always sharing and telling her the things that I like about her. Like she just finished. Are you very generous with your, with your compliments? That's sure. I mean, she just finished working on our finances and I was like, babe, I love you.

You know? And the fact that you do that, cuz I could never do that. I mean maybe if I really tried, but I would hate every minute of it and you just sit down and you. I know how many hours, you know, just going over everything, all the receipts, making the budget, looking at it, and then we discuss it together.

And I just love that. And other things too, you know, when you, you put on something that I like or you're here or different things. And so I find that complimenting my wife. It's important because I think that our words are so powerful and it's important for my brain to hear me complimenting my wife.

It's important for me. It's important for my kids. It's important for her. And I believe that with our words, we reinforce our values. So be careful if you're just saying negative things about your wife, about your children, about your job or whatever, you're gonna make yourself miserable. Uh, look for the positive.

Celebrate the positive. And that way, you know, I never want my first word or my only words to my wife to be something negative, something that like, oh, you didn't do this or you could have done this better. No, I always start with the positive. I always emphasize the positive and that way, you know, if there's ever anything to work on, we can work on that, but I don't want her, I want her to always feel secure in my love for her.

And I guess this would be my advice for you, make your spouse feel. In your love for them not insecure, secure. I believe that that leads to a better healthier intimacy and, and sharing and just being really open communication, open communication. Mm-hmm just being real and, and honest with each other. Uh, so that, that's my that's like one of my goals or, or values, you know, my wife and I would do that in the beginning of the day.

We write down goals and different things and for our relationship, I just, I want my spouse. To feel secure in my love for her. And I say that out loud, I do that with my actions and I find that investing into my wife also pushes out any other person or any other, because I'm, I'm too busy investing into this.

So it's not just an emotion I'm, I'm deciding. So there are things that she likes, well, I'm gonna do those things. I'm gonna go out of my way and make the time to do the things that she likes. Cuz I want to invest. I wanna be the hero of my. I guess, you know, I want to be the one that she falls in love with again and again and again.

So I, I like that. I like that challenge. I think it's part of what I'm called to do as a husband. And I want my kids to witness that and I want my wife to never regret marrying me. I wanted her to be excited and happy. About this. And I think that you can do the same for your spouse. It is true. You, you do do that.

You're very intentional. And I see that, like you, you have things written down. It's not just like a, a thing in your mind. You know, you, you spend time, you write things down, you, you ask a lot of questions. You want to know you, you make an effort. It's not just, you know, your words. Put your, how do you say you act on your words?

All right. I think that was our last question. Yeah. And I, I hope that, you know, it doesn't seem like we're not perfect in any way. Like, we, we have lots of flaws. We have lots of issues that we work, but I think the key points, um, so far for our marriage to this point is. Communication. Yeah. Uh, we invest a lot in talking to each other and trying to solve things and figure things out.

And, um, I'd say also trust and mutual respect, trust. Yeah. And respect. So we listen to each other, we care about each other. Um, and we, we show up for each other, you know, we don't avoid, um, only if it's just, you know, temporarily because of, you know, tempers running high or something. . Yes. Um, but the love is always there and, yeah.

Good, good talk. Thank you, babe, for taking the time. Thank you for the questions. Oh yeah. Thank you guys for the questions. And if you have more or if you want to, you know, another one or if you wanna go deeper in any other. That's what the comment section is for. So you can check out my blog, PR marlon.com or reach out to us on social media.

Many of you have us where you can just search for us and, and find us it's not, not too difficult, but until next time, God bless. All right. Bye-bye.