The Woman I Love

Recently I shared my thoughts on how I see my wife and how I admire her beauty. (read My Beautiful Wife) However, to only talk about her physical beauty is to greatly diminish who she is.

I met my wife when I was 14. She was 13. We attended the same church and she became good friends with my sister. I spent one year getting to know her and I realized we were often involved in ministry together at church. As we talked I realized we had similar values. When I was 16 and she was 15 I presented her with a plan. I needed to finish high school and I would go to college and four years later I would graduate. Then I would find a job and as soon as I had a job I would marry her. I did the math and told her it would take about 7 years. I then asked her if she would like to be my girlfriend.

She said yes.

I then asked her parents for permission to date her. I wanted to make this official. I wanted everyone to know we were dating. At 16 I believed I had found the woman who would be my partner for the rest of my life, the one who would one day be my wife. I asked her to be my girlfriend on November 4, 2000. She said yes! We have been together ever since. We never broke up, didn’t even take a “break.” During my 4 years of college, we were 1,026 miles apart. Many doubted our relationship would survive the long distance. But we made it work. For four years we would only see each other twice a year, during Winter and Summer breaks. It was not easy. But I had found someone spectacular. I prayed often about our relationship and we worked through all the struggles and difficulties and challenges, always facing them together.

During those four years, we really worked on our communication skills. I cannot emphasize how important it is to have strong communication skills, and trust. I have always completely trusted my wife, and I believe she trusts me in the same way. We have always respected each other. My relationship with my wife is not a story of love at first sight, but rather a story of two people coming together and investing daily in their relationship allowing love to grow strong over time. Our story is one of two people who decided to make it work, who decided to invest and refused to quit when challenges and difficulties came.

Now we are celebrating our 13th year of marriage! We have two kids and have lived our entire married life away from our family. My work has taken me to many different places and we have never enjoyed having our parents or siblings around. We have always had each other and realized that it’s all we need. We love our family, and love when we have the opportunity to spend time together. But as long as we have each other, and our kids, we are fine, we are happy. I am not saying this is easy, or ideal, but it has been our reality.

My wife is an incredible woman. She is smart, she is driven, she is dedicated, and dependable. Ever since our kids were born my wife is first and foremost a mother. She homeschooled our children until my son went into 1st grade and my daughter went into kindergarten. She continues to be heavily involved with the school my children attend. She is especially involved with our kid’s spiritual life. For many years she was their Sabbath-school teacher, when there was no class for their age group, she started one. She also started different ministries for kids the age of my kids (Discovery Club, Adventurer Club…) I don’t mean to just write a resume, for my wife, I just wanted to share enough for you to get the idea that she is heavily involved and willing to research and try and start new things if she believes it will benefit our kids.

Even before we had kids, she was heavily involved in ministry, teaching at the school, starting a Pathfinder Club, etc. My wife has been such a blessing in my life. I say this because we are both involved in ministry, we both love it. We both love and value our kids. Our values match. We value our relationship with God, we value the physical health of our family (eating healthy, exercising, etc.) we love nature, we love music (playing and singing, making sure the kids have lessons, etc.) Because our values line up, that means that how we spend our resources also matches. We invest our time, energy, and money into the same things. This reduces much friction in our relationship, and whenever we do face challenges, we are united.

God has a central role in our lives and we are greatly blessed.

So yes, I believe my wife is beautiful (My Beautiful Wife). But what makes her special goes far beyond. She is someone that I trust completely. She is someone that I know will always be there for me. I know she supports me and will never leave me. I love doing things that she likes, things that put a smile on her face. She knows I would never leave her and that she has my full support.

I have an amazing wife, and I treat her like the amazing person that she is. I want my wife to always feel secure in my love for her, regardless of what happens. Even when we disagree, I never want my wife to question my love for her. I see this as part of my mission as her husband. God has placed her in my life, she is a great blessing in my life, and I believe God has called me to bless and protect and love and care for my wife. So I look forward to spending the rest of my life investing in my relationship with my wife, in my marriage, in the woman I love.

This is my story. At least how I see it.

I don’t mean this to be prescriptive. It is a description of my life.

I am very happy, and I am looking forward to what the future holds.

For audio of me talking about my marriage check out I Am Grateful For My Wife.

Which was followed by my wife and I discussing our relationship and answering questions that were sent to us you can listen to them here The Relationship Post Part 1, Part 2, Part 3.